A cute story.

A young boy enters a barber shop. The barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest boy I have ever seen. Watch as I prove it to you."

The barber puts a £5 coin in one hand and two £1 coins (1+1=2) in the other, then calls the kid over and asks, "Which do you want, kid?"

The boy decides to take  two £1 coins and leaves. "What did I tell you?" said the barber. "This kid never learns."

After some time when the customer leaves, he sees the same kid coming out of the ice-cream store. "Hey, kid!": calls out the customer. "May I ask you a question? Why did you take two £1 coins instead of £5 coin?"

The kid replied while licking his cone, "Because the day I take the £5 coin, the game is over."

Moral of the story: Never underestimate others. Mind it!

Santa Banta jokes

Santa: Banta, pyar karna padta hai ya ho jata Hai?

Banta: Santa, bhai baat yeh hain k, agar ladki khoobsurat ho aur scooty pe ho toh pyaar ho jata hai.
Aur agar ladki badsoorat ho aur Audi mein ho toh karna padta hai.

Man discovered colors and invented paints.
Woman got inspired from paints and invented makeup.

Man discovered word and invented conversation.
Woman got inspired from conversations and invented gossips.

Man discovered agriculture and invented food,
Woman got inspired from food and invented diet.

Man discovered friendship and invented love
Woman got inspired from love and invented love triangles.

Man discovered trading and invented money.
Woman got money and started shopping.

That's it! That's all.

Ever since then, man has explored, discovered and invented an awful lot of things while women are still shopping.

A psychology professor asked his students a question for their final exams.


Q: How are you going to make me believe that the chair in front of you is invisible?


It took students approximately an hour to finish the answer, except a lazy student who took only 6 seconds in order to answer the question. Eventually, the lazy student got the highest score.

His reply to that question was "Which chair, sir?"

Santa's joke.

Santa's girlfriend asked him to bring "protection" for the next time they go on a date.
Santa showed up with 4 brothers, 12 cousins and 25 friends with hockey sticks. 

Raju in a five-star hotel :D

Raju in a five-star hotel: Mai yeha bilkul nahi rahunga! Mere paise wapas karo. Yeh kitna chhota room hain.
Mujhe janwar samja rakha hain kya?






Waiter: Mere bhai! Please room me chal. Yeh lift hain!!!

Reading in leisure time...

Be less curious about people and more curious about ideas.

Count your blessings, not your worries.

Remember, being happy doesn't mean you have it all. It simply means that you are thankful for all you have.

I have learned to give, not because I have too much, but because I have known the feeling of not having.

The biggest slap to your enemy is your success.

Positive thinking isn't about expecting the best to happen every time, but accepting that whatever happens is the best for this moment.

Admit your mistakes before someone starts exaggerating the story.

A conversation between two ghosts:

Ghost one: Dude, I saw a human.

Ghost two: I don't believe that shit!

Being single isn't a time to be looking for love. Use that time to work on yourself and grow as an individual.

There's nothing stronger than love, except an Apache helicopter. Apache helicopter has machine guns and missiles.

Some serious quotes and thoughts that really make sense....

Never believe what the lines on your hands predict about your future, because people who do not have hands do also have future.

Do not use the past as an excuse to miss out on your future.

When someone treats you like an option, help them narrow their choices by removing yourself from the equation. It's that simple.

What defines us is, how well we rise after falling.

We don't meet people by accident. They are meant to cross our path for a reason.

A person, who never made a mistake, never tried anything new.

Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will come after you -- to search you.

Making a friend is not a miracle. The miracle is to make a single friend who will stand by your side even when hundreds are against you.

Sometimes the right person for you was there all along. You just didn't see it because the wrong one was blocking the way.

So often we become so focused on the finish line that we fail to enjoy the journey.

All new status messages, thought of the day, quotes and thoughts....

Every bad situation will have something positive. Even a dead clock shows correct time that too twice-a-day!

You don't have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body.

I read recipes the same way I read sci-fi (science-fiction). I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen."

If you want to feel rich, just count the things you have that money can't buy.

Only an aunt can give hugs like a mother, keep secrets like a sister and share love like a friend.

Never push a loyal person to a point where they no longer give a damn.

Sometimes the thoughts in my head get bored and go for a stroll out through my mouth. This is never a good thing. :D

Make peace with your past, so it won't screw up the present.

What others think of you is none of your business.

Time heals almost everything, so give it some time.

Don't compare your life to others and don't judge them, you have no idea what their journey is all about.

Stop thinking too much. It's okay not to know all the answers. They will come to you when you least expect them.

No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

Judging a person does not define who they are. It defines who you are.

The thing about quotes on the internet is that you cannot confirm their validity.

More things to read...

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy people enough to make it worth the effort.

Ever had one of those days when everything goes according to the plan and turns out great? Yeah, exactly, me neither!!!

If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't know how to spell beautiful.

I believe in love at first sight, because I fell in love with my mom ever since I opened my eyes.

I won't force myself to have a space in your life, because if you really know my worth, you'll make some for me.

From this point on, I plan to treat people exactly how they treat me. I know, some will be glad and others should be scared.

Don't worry about those who talk behind your back. They are behind you for a reason.

I will win, not immediately, but definitely.

I am not open to many people. I am usually quiet and I don't really like to seek attention. So, if I like you enough to show you the real me, you must be very special.

Never cry for that person who doesn't value your tears.

The scale can only give you a numerical reflection of your relationship with gravity. That's all. It cannot measure beauty, talent, purpose, life, force, possibility, strength or love.

Did you know? -- I didn't know.

As long as an arm of a starfish has a bit of the middle; it will re-grow into a whole new starfish, when cut.

Natural pearls melt in vinegar

Men's shirts have the buttons on the right and women's shirts have the buttons on the left

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

The cigarette lighter was invented before the match box technology.

The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

The word "Checkmate" in the game chess comes from the Persian phrase "shah mat," which means that the king is dead.

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history. spades represent King David; clubs represent Alexander the Great; hearts represent Charlemagne and diamonds represent Julius Caesar.

In most advertisements, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10 (Ajanta watches ad if you remember)

Some interesting facts...

Did you know that Charlie Chaplin once won the third prize in a Charlie Chaplin lookalike contest?

The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from public libraries

Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite. (Peanut oil)

The planet Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

The planet Venus does not tilt, so consequently, it has no seasons.

Honey is the only type of food that never gets spoilt.

Human tonsils can bounce higher than a rubber ball of similar weight and size, but only for the first 30 minutes after they’ve been removed.

U.S. President John F. Kennedy was an accomplished ventriloquist.

Twyndyllyng is the longest English word without a vowel.

Pumice is the only rock that floats in water.

More amazing facts

  

"Typewriter" is the longest word that can be typed using the letters on only one row of the keyboard.

Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus (shembud yucks!!!) every two weeks or it will digest itself.

The spot on the 7Up (the cold drink) comes from its inventor who had red eyes. He was an albino. 7 was because the original containers were seven ounces and ‘UP’ indicated the direction of the bubbles.

People say bless you when you sneeze, because your heart stops for a millisecond (people say, heart skips a beat while sneezing).

Anatidaephobia is actually the fear that you are being watched by a duck. (Quack, quack :P)

Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to slow films down so that you could see his moves.

Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland, because Donald never wore pants.

Research indicates that mosquitoes are attracted to people who have recently eaten bananas.

The first known contraceptive was crocodile dung used by Egyptians in 2000 B.C.

The original name for butterfly was flutterby.

Amazing facts...

The Barbie doll: Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

When the moon is directly overhead you will weigh slightly less.

Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor of the telephone never called his wife or mother because they were both deaf.

"I am" is the shortest complete sentence in the English.

Happy Birthday (the song) is copyrighted.

A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100^th of a second.

The names of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.

The sentence, “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog” uses every letter in the English language.

Anglo-Zanzibar War: The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.

The latest reading stuff...

A man was invited to a friend's house for dinner where he noticed that his guy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms, calling her honey, darling, sweetheart, pumpkin, baby etcetera.

He was so impressed, because this couple had been married for over 50 years now. So, while the wife was in the kitchen, he said, "I think it's wonderful that after all these many years, you still call your wife with those pet names."

The guy shrugged, lowered his voice and said, "To tell you the truth, I forgot her name about 10 years ago."

A perfect man is not the one who promises to bring you the stars or the moon to make you feel like you are in heaven, but the one who illuminates your darkest nights with his soulful and divine love and creates a heaven with his arms around you.

Don't look for a man who is just good in bed, but find a guy whom you can wake up to every morning knowing that he will never cheat on you physically and emotionally. A perfect man is the one who gives you that beautiful feeling of knowing that your loving heart is safe with him today, tomorrow and for the rest of your life.

No relationship is perfect ever. There are always some ways you have to bend, to compromise, to give something up in order to gain something greater. The love we have for each other is bigger than these small differences and that's the key. It's like a big pie chart and the love in a relationship has to be the biggest piece. Love can make up for a lot.

Dear past, thank you for all the lessons. Dear future, I am now ready.

Love the people god gave you, because you never know when he will need them back someday.

Learn to appreciate what you have before time makes you appreciate what you had.

Pain can change you, but it doesn't mean that it has to be a bad change. Take that pain and turn it into wisdom.

I always mean what I say. I may not always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks.

The hardest test in life is the patience to wait for the right moment.

Reads at leisure...

To read at leisure.

Do your bit of good where you are. It's those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.

A healthy relationship will never require you to sacrifice your friends, your dreams or your dignity.

There is no passion to be found in settling for a life that is less than the one that you are capable of living.

Touch her heart, not her body.
Steal her attention, not her virginity.
Make her smile, don't waste her tears.


Single and Relationships are just the titles.
Your heart determines your true relationship status.


Don't chase people, be yourself, do your own thing and hard work.
The right people, the ones who really belong in your life, will come to you and stay.


Every story has an end, but in life, every end has a new beginning.


I don't trust easily, so when I tell you that "I trust you", please don't let me regret it.


Stand up for what is right, even if you are standing alone!


The most memorable people in life will be friends who loved you when you weren't that lovable.